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Recent Board News
 Gerlind Richards MBE
It was the move from England to Paris, France, in 1976 by Gerlind and her husband Bill, a banker, which set in train a sequence of events which resulted in Gerlind’s involvement with ICCFR and its predecessor organisations over a period of 30 years. Initially, working for the International Union of Family Organisations (now the World Family Organisation, WFO) Gerlind had responsibility for the administration and support of three commissions set up by IUFO (Marriage, Education and Family Housing) and for attending to the needs of related specialists and organisations which were not French speakers. So from the outset Gerlind added the role of interpreter, translator and note-taker to her duties. She describes herself then as a tri-lingual administrator. The three commissions held “meetings” that called on Gerlind to provide all the different kinds of planning and implementation required to bring together international groups of people and to facilitate their work. Significantly, Gerlind’s responsibility for the support of non-Francophone affiliates encouraged the development of an ever-expanding network of contacts, many of them people that recognised that without access to Gerlind’s language skills their involvement of the work in the commissions would be very restricted. Use of that network became a prime characteristic of Gerlind’s way of working with the commissions both while she was in Paris, and subsequently.
1982 saw the Richards family moving back to England and a transition for Gerlind. Paid work with the IUFO was replaced by a voluntary administrative role with a particular focus on the activities of what was by then the International Commission on Marriage and Interpersonal Relations, ICMIR. That voluntary role became a major preoccupation for Gerlind. As the activities of the commission became more complex, and the number of participants grew at “annual international conferences”, so Gerlind’s tasks became more numerous and time-consuming.
Significant among the changes within ICMIR was the fact that after a lengthy period under the chairmanship of Nick Tyndall, there was a succession of Chairs. Gerlind had worked with six of them by the time she retired in 2008. That entailed finding ways to work collaboratively with people of different temperaments and perspectives and who, because of their responsibilities elsewhere, differed greatly in the time they could devote to the Commission’s activities.
There were two other changes of particular significance. Communications, which had depended on postal services, the phone and faxes became increasingly dependent on emails and the internet. The cost and labour of mailings to hundreds of people gave way to flows of emails and fewer delays in getting information and requests to colleagues and overseas organisations. But that involved learning a whole new set of skills. The second change resulted from the increased restrictions placed on funding conference participation. It was becoming more and more difficult to secure the involvement of people around the world. This resulted in Gerlind needing to help individuals from developing countries to gain access to funds for travel and conference participation. This was linked to work that she had long been doing – helping people to obtain visas and writing letters of support to institutions which wanted more and more evidence of the benefits for their staff of participation in a conference.
It will be apparent that what had been a very part-time voluntary activity had become a full-time occupation and, eventually, one that needed an assistant. Add to that the fact that year by year the Commission had to build good working relations with the individuals and organisations that had undertaken to organise an annual conference. Each year a different country and each year a different set of problems, as well as adjustments to local practices, timescales and preoccupations.
To attempt to be exhaustive in this account of Gerlind’s work for the Commission (now ICCFR) is a task doomed to failure. A part of the reason for that fact results from Gerlind’s style of working. Much has been done quietly and in a kindly manner. Her patience, sense of humour, attention to detail, and capacity to follow up issues until a solution is found, have all contributed to her success in the role of honorary general secretary. She has promoted friendships capable of overcoming technical problems and cultural differences. Most of all she has communicated a remarkable and constant dedication to the purposes of ICCFR which has inspired others to greater efforts. The Commission was delighted when Gerlind was awarded the MBE in recognition of her work for the Commission. She, herself, says that the Commission owes her nothing, but even these brief notes show that ICCFR would have been a very different and impoverished organisation without her contribution. However, “being owed nothing” does make sense when she reflects on the richness of her personal experiences when involved with the Commission, its activities and the people who are drawn to its focus on couple and family relations.
Gerlind’s retirement challenges ICCFR to adapt to change and to meet the challenges all modern organisations face. Her retirement also offers all of us the opportunity to thank Gerlind for the special attention that she has given to each of us. “Thank you” seems an inadequate way to signal our gratitude for so long and rich a contribution to a shared venture. But “thank you” nonetheless, and enjoy your retirement – we are wondering what will next attract your interest, energy and many skills. Whatever the cause you take up we can be sure that both you and it will benefit from your involvement.
10/2008
 Simone Baverey, Treasurer
Simone first made contact with the Commission (ICCFR) in 1972, became a Board member in 1997, undertook the considerable task of organising the Commission’s 1999 conference in Durban, took up the role of Treasurer in 2003 and retired in 2008.
What made Simone a most valued contributor to the Commission’s activities was rooted in her training in social work in Strasbourg, France, and her move to South Africa where she has lived and worked ever since. That move led her to seek out ways of using her social work skills in her new setting and resulted in her becoming the Director of the Family and Marriage Society of Durban (SA). She served in that role for thirty-two years, building up the Society’s capacity to offer counselling, family therapy and life-skills programmes as well as to undertake outreach projects. By 1972 Simone had acquired all the skills needed to manage the activities of a very active front-line agency, to act as mentor for the Society’s staff, and to handle the planning and implementation of its programme of activities. Not least, Simone developed the disciplines of financial management and fund-raising. Over her years as Director she also created a substantial network of contacts with individuals, organisations and government offices.
It will be no surprise that Simone had an immediate impact on the Commission. Her energy, skills and forceful personality quickly identified her as a valuable addition to the membership of the Board and the 1999 Durban conference was a triumph for her and an event that will never be forgotten by those who participated in it. Simone’s expertise in handling finance found expression through the planning guidelines, timetables and templates she produced as well as the comprehensive up-grading of the Commission accounting procedures and statements of account which she undertook as the organisation’s Treasurer. There can be little doubt that those innovations helped the Commission to survive financially in hard times. Importantly they also offered conference organisers, year by year, and in different countries, the ability to relate and combine local practices with the disciplines which the Commission had adopted.
It must be kept in mind that Simone achieved so much while resident in South Africa and thus obliged to make long journeys to attend Board meetings that were commonly held in a European country.
Simone’s retirement is a sad loss for the Commission. All who know her and have worked with her will want to wish her well as she seeks the slower pace and more limited travelling of a new phase in her life as a retired person. Thank you Simone!
10/2008
We welcome Dr. Anna Vella who has agreed to join the Board of ICCFR. As President of Cana Movement, Malta, (a founder member organisation of the Commission) Dr. Vella has followed the work of ICCFR for some years.
We took our farewell from Board Member Anna Castellani Tarabini (Italy) who retired last autumn, after 8 years of serving on the Board of ICCFR.
03/2008
Death of Nicholas Tyndall, Commission Chair for 16 years: a Tribute.
(15 August 1928 - 19 April 2006)
Nick, as he was known, was the second and most influential of the organisation’s Chairs (ICCFR was then known as ICMIR). He held the position for sixteen years (1971 – 1986), building on the heritage of IUFO’s international network and leading the organisation through a series of annual Meetings (today’s Conferences) which addressed the issues of the day for married couples and the workers which supported them.
The nature of the organisation changed significantly under his direction. He created an international community with a spirit of teamwork and built a Board which acted as the think-tank which was, and is, the heart of the organisation’s development. He also introduced groupwork as a vital and creative feature of the “Meetings”. But perhaps it was his talent for drawing together people from quite different backgrounds and facilitating friendships for which he was most valued. He was a serious man with a delight in social events in which he revealed a dry sense of humour. During his period as Chair he was also the Chief Executive of Britain’s National Marriage Guidance Council (NMGC) (now Relate), at that time the primary source in England of counselling support for married couples.
His vision still inspires the Commission – thank you Nick.
Derek Hill
(an NMGC colleague)
06/2006
Louis Camilleri resigns
 Msgr. Louis Camilleri has worked for 36 years as the Director of the Cana Movement, Malta, an organisation which offers a variety of services in support of marriage. He has served as one of the Commission’s Board members for many years and was responsible for its financial accounts for a period. Louis has been obliged to resign because in future his work in Malta will be dedicated to other aspects of the Church’s work.
Past and present members of the ICCFR Board, together with all who met him during the Commission’s conferences, express their thanks to Louis for his constant commitment to the purposes of ICCFR, for his friendship, and for his quietly offered creative encouragement for the Commission’s activities. He will be much missed. We send him good wishes for his future work and role.
06/2006
Derek Hill retires
 Derek Hill retired from his role of Chair at ICCFR’s international conference in Vienna, in June 2005. In a simple good-bye ceremony at the Palais Liechtenstein in Vienna, the Commission’s Board thanked Derek for his enormous contribution to ICCFR.
Derek attended his first ICCFR conference in 1992 on behalf of Relate, where he was Head of Counselling for many years. His active involvement began with the preparations for the 1998 ICCFR conference which Relate hosted in Oxford, England. Commission Members recall with fondness and admiration his memorable skills as Group Facilitator at the conferences, and it was almost with regret that the decision was made to exchange this benefit for the much greater one to the Commission when he accepted in the summer of 2001 the invitation to take on the role of ICCFR Chair. He applied to this role those same qualities of being able to pay personal attention to each member whilst always being mindful and inclusive of the Commission’s needs as a whole.
During his time in office, and thanks to his initiative, the Commission made rapid progress in developing a professionally structured approach to its work and its conferences. Derek introduced a number of innovations for ICCFR which helped it to become more relevant and contemporary. One of his first steps in office was to write the ICCFR Mission Statement, which helped shape the identity and clarified the purpose of the organisation. He ensured that its conference proceedings were published each year and disseminated worldwide. Striving ever towards greater accessibility for the international community to the Commission’s work he was instrumental in taking the next ambitious step of setting up the ICCFR Website – both the design and its contents are his work to date.
ICCFR would like to acknowledge with gratitude how much it owes to Derek – to his vision, his dedication and his initiative. We wish him and Jill well in their retirement!
06/2005
Gerlind Richards’ honour
In 2003 Gerlind Richards, our General Secretary, was invested with the MBE by Prince Charles at Buckingham Palace in recognition for her long and outstanding service to the Commission. We are proud of, and grateful for, Gerlind’s tireless efforts on the Commission’s behalf.
06/2003
ICCFR Co-Chair Retires
 Dr. jur. Herman Pas (Belgium) has retired from the roles of the Commission’s Co-Chair and Board Member after an active involvement in its affairs, which began in the 1960s. In 1999 he compiled and edited “Vive la Différence”, an account of the Commission’s activities between 1953 and 1999. The publication is a major resource for those interested in the development of research, social policy, legislation and therapy associated with couples and families. The gratitude of Commission members for so long and valuable a period of service was expressed during the 2003 conference. Herman has expressed a wish to sustain contact with, and an input into, the Commission, albeit less formally, and the ICCFR Board is delighted to learn that he will participate in our Tallinn conference, 13-16 June 2004.
06/2003
Martin Koschorke Retires
 The Board of ICCFR has seen a number of significant changes in its membership recently, amongst them the retirement of one of its longest-serving members, Martin Koschorke who retired after fifteen years’ service on the Board.
Those who have worked with Martin will recognise how great a loss his retirement is for the Commission. He is an ‘ideas man’, someone with a capacity to think analytically and creatively. His personal integrity results in him being a challenging colleague but one whose impish sense of humour and whose lack of an undue sense of self-importance makes him an ideal member of any working group. He has demonstrated skills as a teacher/lecturer, a group facilitator and an event organiser and he took the initiative in establishing Professional Seminars as an adjunct to ICCFR conferences’ main programmes. Not least, his interest in and contacts with African and Eastern European countries resulted in the Commission being able to engage professionals in those territories in its work.
While wishing Martin a happy and fulfilling retirement we hope very much that he will continue to contribute to the Commission’s work by joining us during our conferences.
06/2003
More retirements
In recent years the Commission’s Board has also lost the services of colleagues whose contributions have been very much valued: Ingrid Rëgno (Sweden), Dianne Gibson (Australia) , John Hannan (Ireland) and, not least, Co-Chair Herman Pas.
06/2003
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